I am Black Grief.
The struggle is real.
The last few days have included being in bed 24/7, many hours of sleep, not speaking to anyone unless necessary and just feeling overall exhausted, depressed and overwhelmed with all the shit happening in the world.
Family things, work things, inflation, possible recession, covid-19, fucking monkeypox, Black people being killed for being Black while minding their damn business, children and teachers being murdered, political bullshit, ongoing disparities from birth to incarceration and the list goes on and on.
I know I’m not alone on these feelings but I want to name that I am feeling BLACK grief. It’s like I’m the inside of a sandwich being squished with acute issues of the world (the bottom slice of the sandwich) and the ongoing inequities and barriers of being Black (the top slice of the sandwich).
Does any of this make sense? lol
I will say I am privileged in the ways of my massage lady literally pulling up on me at 7:30pm on Monday night with little notice and giving me a 2 hour massage to help move the stuck ass energy around. BLESS HER SOUL!
Super blessed to have my community (my family, friends and partner) for checking in on me when I’m unresponsive. My partner even told me about myself with love (and she was right -___- ). She told me I need to stop holding it all in and talk to her. Such a big ask when you know other Black folks are also grieving 24/7 knowingly but unknowingly. I’m going to try though, along with figuring out how to simplify my life, dedicate myself to projects I believe in and allowing my very buried inner child to come out and play more. <3
Side note: Seriously thinking about moving to a farm or a place with enough space for me to grow a beautiful garden and have some pet chickens. WHO AM I TURNING INTO?
I write this not to weight anyone down but to speak the reality of how I am feeling, in hopes of supporting other Black folks to grieve and to make other non-Black folks aware of what we are holding while trying to keep going everyday.
For non-Black folks, here’s my latest Instagram post, “7 Ways to Support & Center Black Grief”. Take notes and go into action asap!
For Black folks, here are a list of resources from books to practitioners.
It’s okay to grieve. Make space to grieve. Be with your grief and if it gets too hard, ask for help.
Sending you all my grief kisses and hugs,
PS. I’ll be in the North Carolina woods starting tomorrow for a week. Being in the high frequency of nature really helps with processing my grief. I’ll also be finishing the last 10k words of my upcoming book, Birthing Liberation: How Reproductive Justice Can Set Us Free. Wish me luck!